Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
