thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize