I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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