Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
