we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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