She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm passing your future prison.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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