yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
