He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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