it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
