This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
