Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
