I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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