I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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