Moan for me like Helen Keller
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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