the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
