remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
