Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink

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  (609): apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink http://tfl.nu/9o16
  Replies (37) Good night (969) Bad night (2385) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.

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  (507): We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night. http://tfl.nu/sjq5
  Replies (5) Good night (4487) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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  (702): the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry! http://tfl.nu/25bg
  Replies (32) Good night (4836) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her

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  (847): i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her http://tfl.nu/2g5w
  Replies (12) Good night (929) Bad night (4122) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?

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  (317): about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/od5z
  Replies (9) Good night (778) Bad night (3486) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

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  (718): We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate. http://tfl.nu/1mwi
  Replies (14) Good night (1110) Bad night (4494) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?

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  (416): We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard? http://tfl.nu/skft
  Replies (12) Good night (5705) Bad night (731)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump

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  (256): she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump http://tfl.nu/on8v
  Replies (12) Good night (5738) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk

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  (713): He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk http://tfl.nu/6kdn
  Replies (7) Good night (1409) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?

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  (949): Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit? http://tfl.nu/15qi
  Replies (8) Good night (1304) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Did I change midway through last night?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking

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  (503): Did I change midway through last night? (206): Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking http://tfl.nu/rz21
  Replies (2) Good night (2054) Bad night (316)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.

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  (507): You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success. http://tfl.nu/320u
  Replies (6) Good night (1342) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.

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  (479): Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day. http://tfl.nu/u3e4
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.

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  (289): I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward. http://tfl.nu/nn3r
  Replies (4) Good night (282) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.

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  (262): You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend? (224): 50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward. http://tfl.nu/qmja
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (128)

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