Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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