mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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