STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
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Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
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wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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