I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize