Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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