Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
