Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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