If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This baby is an asshole
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
