is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
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He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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