nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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