did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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