i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
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I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
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Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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