My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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