And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
