We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
