Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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