is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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