They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
