We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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