wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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