I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
