They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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