Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
