It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
