well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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