after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
