His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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