I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
