Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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