He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
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He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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