plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
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I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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