I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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