You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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