Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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