butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
