oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
In America we eat man semen.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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