I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
