i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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