I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
