so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
