I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
