Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
